Here we are! I've no idea why anyone would seek advice from a cathouse woman, but my friend plainly states that she does! Let's hear it, babe! Whatchawanna know?
Hello Ms Teri, I can't hardly believe you've set this up, thank you! I can't watch the vid as am surrounded by tall buildings which means my net speed is circa 94 dial-up, but I saw it was Joan of Arc. Weird! At the time you were posting it, my bf and I would have been watching it on TV!! Anyways, what I wanted to ask is, do you believe in the old maxim, "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen?" I ask because whenever I'm cool and laidback and don't put any demands on my bf, he tends to get lazy and can become unreliable, but as soon as I start being a taskmaster, he's good as gold. This is wearing on me as I don't want to have to be a nag. What do you think? Do men require instruction, why can't they just do what they know they should at all times? xx
Actually, this is a YouTube video of Jennifer Warnes and Leonard Cohen singing his song, Joan of Arc ~ and the picture is just still through the whole thing. So nothing to see. Only plenty to hear and visualize!
Now, to your question: That is so weird! I was just thinking about this yesterday!
As you know, my bf is the most exceptional yumminess that ever lived. But when I'm in a bitchy mood ~ and I don't mean toward him, but just in general ~ he is so sweet and responsive to every little thing I say and do. Which is kinda fun!
Yesterday, I was pondering whether a woman should keep things a little bitchy and demanding in order to keep her man on his toes. It took me about two seconds to remember that I've wrestled with this before. I would hear advice about playing "hard to get" games when first seeing a man. And I could totally see how this was probably a good strategy. But I am simply incapable of seeing dating as a game. I figured that if that's what it took to "get a man" then I surely didn't need one! And I feel the same way about "keeping a man."
I have no intention of being anything but genuine. And why is that? Firstly, because it comes naturally to me (and I think it does to everyone, but it's possibly been trained out of them), and secondly, because I seek this quality in a mate myself.
So in this case, I have to say that I believe a woman should be herself and not try to maintain a certain persona in order to manipulate or "train" a man to make him what she wants him to be. If he's not what she wants, then she just be thinking about moving on. Remember, changing a man is only an option when he's an infant. ;)
There are many cultural forces that will compel us to consider swaying from our resolve to remain true to ourselves. We have experienced a number of different types of relationships by the time we are in our twenties. In those cases, we have found that this works or that works and have taught ourselves not to be straightforward or not to be open or not to be ... well ... honest! About anything!
Honesty is the most important foundation of any relationship. Beginning with honesty with oneself. So it will always come down to me. Can I honestly live with a person who exhibits behavior that frustrates me? And is this behavior part of an underlying and deep trait that I will find to be entirely unacceptable?
THAT is where the honest and positive approach to this really lies.
shoot, I knew you were going to say that. The thing is, is that he is so good for many in many important ways (not material)and so bad for many in other ways. It's a dilemma.
4 comments:
Hello Ms Teri, I can't hardly believe you've set this up, thank you! I can't watch the vid as am surrounded by tall buildings which means my net speed is circa 94 dial-up, but I saw it was Joan of Arc. Weird! At the time you were posting it, my bf and I would have been watching it on TV!!
Anyways, what I wanted to ask is, do you believe in the old maxim, "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen?" I ask because whenever I'm cool and laidback and don't put any demands on my bf, he tends to get lazy and can become unreliable, but as soon as I start being a taskmaster, he's good as gold. This is wearing on me as I don't want to have to be a nag. What do you think? Do men require instruction, why can't they just do what they know they should at all times? xx
Actually, this is a YouTube video of Jennifer Warnes and Leonard Cohen singing his song, Joan of Arc ~ and the picture is just still through the whole thing. So nothing to see. Only plenty to hear and visualize!
Now, to your question:
That is so weird! I was just thinking about this yesterday!
As you know, my bf is the most exceptional yumminess that ever lived. But when I'm in a bitchy mood ~ and I don't mean toward him, but just in general ~ he is so sweet and responsive to every little thing I say and do. Which is kinda fun!
Yesterday, I was pondering whether a woman should keep things a little bitchy and demanding in order to keep her man on his toes. It took me about two seconds to remember that I've wrestled with this before. I would hear advice about playing "hard to get" games when first seeing a man. And I could totally see how this was probably a good strategy. But I am simply incapable of seeing dating as a game. I figured that if that's what it took to "get a man" then I surely didn't need one! And I feel the same way about "keeping a man."
I have no intention of being anything but genuine. And why is that? Firstly, because it comes naturally to me (and I think it does to everyone, but it's possibly been trained out of them), and secondly, because I seek this quality in a mate myself.
So in this case, I have to say that I believe a woman should be herself and not try to maintain a certain persona in order to manipulate or "train" a man to make him what she wants him to be. If he's not what she wants, then she just be thinking about moving on. Remember, changing a man is only an option when he's an infant. ;)
There are many cultural forces that will compel us to consider swaying from our resolve to remain true to ourselves. We have experienced a number of different types of relationships by the time we are in our twenties. In those cases, we have found that this works or that works and have taught ourselves not to be straightforward or not to be open or not to be ... well ... honest! About anything!
Honesty is the most important foundation of any relationship. Beginning with honesty with oneself. So it will always come down to me. Can I honestly live with a person who exhibits behavior that frustrates me? And is this behavior part of an underlying and deep trait that I will find to be entirely unacceptable?
THAT is where the honest and positive approach to this really lies.
shoot, I knew you were going to say that. The thing is, is that he is so good for many in many important ways (not material)and so bad for many in other ways. It's a dilemma.
I'm not sure why I posted "many", I mean't "me". My subconscious better not know something that I don't.
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